The Hooters "And We Danced"

"She could dance all night and shake the paint off the walls..."

THE HOOTERS "AND WE DANCED"

The Motels "Only the Lonely"

"All I know is that it makes me feel good now..."

THE MOTELS' "ONLY THE LONELY"

Pet Shop Boys "Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money)"

"I've got the brains you've got the looks..."

PET SHOP BOYS' "OPPORTUNITIES (LET'S MAKE LOTS OF MONEY)"

Don Henley "The Boys of Summer"

"Don't look back you can never look back..."

Glenn Frey "The Heat Is On"

"The pressure's high just to stay alive..."

Eddie Murphy "Party All The Time"

Eddie Murphy captures the frustration of most men. While our best girl is “out romancing”, we're stuck at home. (And by "home" I mean the car we're driving around town looking for tranny hookers in need of a ride) It is so damn frustrating when our girl is out clubbing, giving her number to every man she sees. Why can't she be faithful, like us? We just wish she would bring some of that love home. (And by "home" I now mean the place where we used to live with our wife until she found out about our tranny hooker charity work.) Eddie gets men. And he gets how to be a pop star…it takes rhythm (watch him clap)…it takes body movement (shake that ass, Eddie)…it takes wardrobe (shirt borrowed from Heathcliff Huxtable’s closet?) and it takes Rick James, bitch!

Slade "Run Runaway"

"Don't beat around the bush..."

David Lee Roth "Just Like Paradise"

"And I don't wanna go home...

Peter Wolf "Lights Out"

"Blast blast blast..."

Benjamin Orr "Stay the Night"

"Let a little love show..."

Motley Crue "Girls, Girls, Girls"

"Red lips finger tips..."

MOTLEY CRUE'S "GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS"

Dead or Alive "Brand New Lover"

"I want surprises..."

Great White "Once Bitten Twice Shy"

“Once Bitten, Twice Shy”…oh, man…this is great. Plenty of 80s rock bands had equally fabulous hair, but not many could match the lyrical genius of Great White. Wow. Where to start? I think this is the touching story of the lead singer finding out that an innocent girl is really a smelly, pirate hooker, but I’ve been known to misunderstand lyrics, so it might be about the apocalypse.

I love how they completely throw out the rhyming dictionary, rhyming “looked” with “group”. And so many other great lines. The randomness of “You didn’t know that rock and roll burned, so you bought a candle and you lived and you learned”. Huh? The tour bus double entendre of “I got there in the nick of time, before he got his hands across your state line”. And my favorite…“I didn’t know you had a rock and roll record, until I saw your picture on another guy’s jacket”.

My BFF told me you’re going to love this song…and that you’re the best lick in town…

GREAT WHITE'S "ONCE BITTEN TWICE SHY"

Def Leppard "Love Bites"

"Who do you think of? Does he look like me..."

DEF LEPPARD'S "LOVE BITES"

Aerosmith "Dude (Looks Like A Lady)"

"Forgive me if I seem out of line..."

AEROSMITH'S "DUDE (LOOKS LIKE A LADY)"

Indigo Girls "Closer to Fine"

"I went to see the doctor of philosophy..."

INDIGO GIRLS' "CLOSER TO FINE"

Belinda Carlisle "Mad About You"

"Lost in your eyes..."

BELINDA CARLISLE'S "MAD ABOUT YOU"

Peter Cetera and Amy Grant "Next Time I Fall"

"Next time I'm going to follow through..."

Bruce Springsteen "Brilliant Disguise"

"I want to know if it's you I don't trust cause I damn sure don't trust myself..."

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN'S "BRILLIANT DISGUISE"

Skid Row "18 and Life"

Have you heard about this young boy, Ricky? His heart? Stone. His fighting style? Switch-blade like. His bff? A bottle. Dude couldn’t catch a break. Dad threw him through a door, which led to him shooting the wind. But, as is often the case, the wind was actually a child. Stupid wind landed Ricky in the big house. His courtship with a gun? Not his last.

The Jets "Crush on You"

"She's always talking when she should be listening..."

Patti Austin & James Ingram "Baby Come To Me"

"Spending every dime to keep you talking on the line..."

John Parr "St. Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion)"

"All I need is a pair of wheels..."

Heart "What About Love"

"I can't sell you what you don't want to buy..."

Milli Vanilli "Blame it on the Rain"

Do you have to blame it on something? I'll let Milli and Vanilli answer that...

Animotion "Obsession"

"But I see danger, stranger beware..."

Oran "Juice" Jones "The Rain"

This is a beauty. Classic 80s quality video. The acting is spot on. OJJ’s cigarette smoking is very believable. I love how he oversells the parentheses, “I saw you (AND HIM) walking in the rain.” And how about the background singers with choreography every bit as cheesy as their 80s prom cummerbunds?

But, really what makes this video great is that the monologue Jones gives at the end. It lasts two minutes, almost half the song. “I gave you things you couldn’t even pronounce.” The closing tirade kills. “Silly rabbit, Trix are made for kids”. What the hell does that even mean in the context of the song?

You dismissed…

ORAN "JUICE" JONES "THE RAIN"

Madonna "Papa Don't Preach"

"I'm in trouble deep...

The Buggles "Video Killed the Radio Star"

"We can't rewind we've gone too far..."

THE BUGGLES' "VIDEO KILLED THE RADIO STAR"

The Psychedelic Furs "Love My Way"

"You can never win or lose if you don't run the race..."

Arcadia "Election Day"

"I pull my shirt off and pray..."