Bon Jovi "Bad Medicine"

"There ain't no doctor that can cure my disease..."

BON JOVI'S "BAD MEDICINE"

Shalamar "Dancing in the Sheets"

After watching this video “grab your coat and wave goodbye to your friends” took on a whole new meaning. If the guy in the black gloves, white kerchief and matching white wristband asks you to dance in the sheets, it's less likely that you're about to make sweet, sweet love and more likely that the end of your life is imminent.

One would think that a sexy song like “Dancing in the Sheets” would have a correspondingly sexy video. Instead, the video appears to be one the scenes from “Footloose” that ended up on the cutting room floor. The action picks up at the 2:20 mark when black Zorro ducks at just the last minute (or two), making Jonathan Taylor Thomas’ punch land right in Borat’s face. He then has the presence of mind to not only pause briefly to listen to not-Prince’s guitar solo, but also to give not-Prince the fist pump, which is the universal sign for “grab the nearest rope and swing straight through the front door, because we’ve got to meet Kevin Bacon and Chris Penn at the old barn to teach them how to dance (in the sheets).”

The Bangles "Walk Like an Egyptian"

"Foreign types with the hookah pipes say..."

Billy Joel "We Didn't Start the Fire"

"Edsel is a no go..." no va

BILLY JOEL'S "WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE"

R.E.M. "The One I Love"

"Fire..."

R.E.M.'S "THE ONE I LOVE"

Mr. Mister "Broken Wings"

"We can take what was wrong and make it right..."

Frida "I Know There's Something Going On"

"It won't be long before you're gone..."

Simple Minds "Don't You Forget About Me"

"Rain keeps falling rain keeps falling down down..."

Men Without Hats "Safety Dance"

I (de) briefly fronted a "Men Without Hats" cover band called "Men Without Pants". Turns out full frontal isn't a good look for me.

Warrant "Cherry Pie"

"You ain't gonna swing with my daughter no more..."

WARRANT'S "CHERRY PIE"

John Mellencamp "Pink Houses"

"And there's winners and there's losers..."

JOHN MELLENCAMP'S "PINK HOUSES"

WHAM! "Careless Whisper"

In my experience, guilty feet have very little, if any, rhythm...WHAM! agrees.

Elton John "I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues"

"And never forget I'm your man..."

ELTON JOHN'S "I GUESS THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT THE BLUES"

Suzanne Vega "Luka"

"Just don't ask me what it was..."

Level 42 "Something About You"

"Is it so wrong to be human after all..."

LEVEL 42'S "SOMETHING ABOUT YOU"

USA for Africa "We Are the World"

This song featured arguably the greatest collection of musical talent ever until Jimmy Kimmel effed Ben Affleck.

Shannon "Let the Music Play"

"He's dancing his way back to me..."

Shannon - Let The Music Play
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MARRS "Pump up the Volume"

"Brothers and sisters..."

Jeff Healey "Angel Eyes"

"What you're doing with a clown like me is surely one of life's little mysteries..."

JEFF HEALEY'S "ANGEL EYES"

Jermaine Stewart "We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off"

The lovely and talented Brook Busey once tweeted, "Re: having a good time. Can't we take our clothes off AND have some cherry wine? Don't know why they have to be mutually exclusive." Can I get an Amen?

Dear Diablo,
I realized one of the things I don't do enough in life is ask you out. So, please go around with me and my mustache. I'll take you to Kansas City's best barbeque joint in a gas station or the prom (ladies choice/snowball). Either way there will be cherry wine and I'll probably end up topless with or without you (and you give yourself away...and you give...etc) Check yes, no or Bono.
Love,
AJ

Bow Wow Wow "I Want Candy"

When do you like candy? Because, Bow Wow Wow likes it "when it's wrapped in sweater."

The Kinks "Come Dancing"

"Don't be afraid to come dancing. It's only natural..."

Living in a Box "Living in a Box"

Watching the Living in a Box video made me think of a couple of other guys who put things in boxes...

LIVING IN A BOX'S "LIVING IN A BOX"

The Church "Under the Milky Way"

"Wish I knew what you were looking for..."

Poco "Call It Love"

"Tell me your secrets I'll tell you mine..."

The Dream Academy "Life in a Northern Town"

"And he took a cigarette out..."

THE DREAM ACADEMY "LIFE IN A NORTHERN TOWN"

Nu Shooz "I Can't Wait"

"My love, tell me what it's all about..."

DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince "Parents Just Don't Understand"

My memory of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was a boyish, innocent version of Big Willie. However, the video delivers a character more like a young R. Kelly...the hand that was "steadily moving up (his) thigh" belonged to "a 12 year old runaway." Not...that...innocent...

"Come on and take a ride with a helluva guy..."

DJ JAZZY JEFF & THE FRESH PRINCE'S "PARENTS JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND"

The Fixx "Saved By Zero"

"Maybe I'll win..."

THE FIXX'S "SAVED BY ZERO"

Katrina and the Waves "Walking on Sunshine"

This video is all kinds of brilliant. Nothing says "Walking on Sunshine" like a dreary, foggy day. It looks like the Walking on Sunshine video may have been inadvertantly switched with Katrina's tutorial on how to trick emo kids into feeding ducks.

KATRINA AND THE WAVES' "WALKING ON SUNSHINE"