Bryan Adams "Cuts Like a Knife"

"Took it all for granted, but how was I to know..."

BRYAN ADAMS' "CUTS LIKE A KNIFE"

Falco "Rock Me Amadeus"

"Ooo rock me..."

REO Speedwagon "Keep on Loving You"

In 1988, while riding in my 1973 Plymouth Duster listening to an REO Speedwagon tape on my boom box, my friend Pat tried to tell me that REO wasn’t cool. Pat had clearly never seen this video.

Whether a talented singer/songwriter or an actor playing a patient visiting a psychiatrist, Kevin Cronin was cool personified. He was cool enough to figure out that if you hold the “rrrr” you can make any two words that end in “r” rhyme, including “remember” and “together”. He starts the video by confessing that he made up the woman he’s singing about, but the meat of the song, which is barely one minute long, makes even less sense in that context. It's like he wrote a catchy chorus and then cut and pasted in some limericks from an unrelated, unfinished song.

Keeping on loving an imaginary girl that “played dead” but “never bled” doesn’t necessarily make sense, but neither does my love of 80s music…loving it is the only thing I wanna do-oo-oo…

John Waite "Missing You"

"There's a storm that's raging through my frozen heart tonight..."

JOHN WAITE'S "MISSING YOU"

Bad English "When I See You Smile"

"One look at you baby and everything's all right..."

Whitney Houston "Saving All My Love For You"

"But each time I try I just break down and cry..."

Wang Chung "Dance Hall Days"

"And you need her. And she needs you..."

Billy Idol "White Wedding"

"It's a nice day to start again..."

BILLY IDOL'S "WHITE WEDDING"

Tears for Fears "Shout"

"These are the things I can do without..."

TEARS FOR FEARS' "SHOUT"

Rick Springfield "Jessie's Girl"

Rick Springfield sings the touching story of his forbidden love for his buddy’s girl. Dude is a poet. “I’ve been cool, I’ve been funny with the lines…ain’t that the way love’s supposed to be”. That is my understanding of love, yes. But, then again, I love lamp.

The Ricker played a show in Kansas City a couple of years ago that I went to on purpose. A local grocery store was giving away tickets if you had a frequent shopper card. The lady at the ticket counter seemed surprised that I wanted tickets and gave me 8. They were supposed to be lawn seats, but when we got there, the ushers encouraged us to get as close as we wanted. We got too close for comfort. Rick’s fans have not aged as well as he has. The audience was full of whatever you call MILFs with whom you don't want to have relations...mothers not effers.

Why can’t I find a woman like that?

Poison "I Won't Forget You"

"It's better to have" been a cast-off from Bret Michaels' tour bus "than never to have loved at all..."

George Michael "I Want Your Sex"

I won the album on which this song appeared...the Beverly Hills Cop II Soundtrack...through a radio contest. Yes, I said "album".

"Sex is natural. Sex is fun. Sex is best when it's one on one."

GEORGE MICHAEL'S "I WANT YOUR SEX"

Kenny Loggins "Footloose"

"You can fly if you'd only cut..."

Journey "Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)"

"If you must go, I wish you love..."

JOURNEY'S "SEPARATE WAYS (WORLDS APART)"

Eurythmics "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)"

"Who am I to disagree..."

EURYTHMICS' "SWEET DREAMS (ARE MADE OF THIS)"

Roxette "The Look"

"Tasty like a rain drop, she's got..."

ROXETTE'S "THE LOOK"

Salt n Pepa "Push It"

Many have pushed it. Some have pushed it good. But, only Salt n Pepa pushed it real good. "This dance ain’t for everybody…only the sexy people…so all you fly mothers get on out there and dance."

Salt n Pepa's PUSH IT

Toto "I'll Be Over You"

"As soon as forever is through I'll be over you..."

Madonna "Like A Virgin"

"I made it through the wilderness, somehow I made it through-who-who..." That's just good writing.

Toni Basil "Mickey"

"You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand..."

Talking Heads "Once In A Lifetime"

"And you may ask yourself, how do I work this..."

Talking Heads - Once In A Lifetime
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Peter Gabriel "Big Time"

"So much larger than life..."

Living Colour "Cult of Personality"

Living Colour's song tells us "one and one make three."

Corey Glover's yellow spandex shorts show us "one and two make three."

LIVING COLOUR'S "CULT OF PERSONALITY"

Don Henley "Dirty Laundry"

In 5^th grade, Don Henley was one of my favorite people. This was another song that I had absolutely no idea what it meant. But, I loved it. Henley was funnier than Weird Al, even if he wasn’t quite as talented musically. DL’s lyrics killed. “Eat your dirty laundry” made me lol before there was such a thing. And “We all know that crap is king” was pretty edgy for 1983.

When it’s said and done I haven’t told you a thing. Getcha some Dirty Laundry...

Cheap Trick "The Flame"

"Whenever you need someone to lay your heart and head upon...I WILL BE THE FLAME."

OMD "If You Leave"

"You always said, we'd meet again someday..."

Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark's "If You Leave"

Cinderella "Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone)"

"Now I know what I got, it's just this song..."

CINDERELLA'S "DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU GOT (TILL IT'S GONE)"

Jack Wagner "All I Need"

"It's easy to believe that you're all I need..."

Kim Carnes "Bette Davis Eyes"

This video is pretty great. It looks like Kim Carnes got a sweet gig playing the wrap party of the local dinner theatre's 6 week run of Ishtar.

"She's pure as New York snow..."

KIM CARNES' "BETTE DAVIS EYES"

Phil Collins "Against All Odds"

Dear Rachel Ward,

"You're the only one who really knew me at all..."

Joey Scarbury "Believe It Or Not (the Greatest American Hero Theme Song)"

I loved “the Greatest American Hero”, the show about the superhero that lost his instruction manual, but I loved the Joey Scarbury's GAH theme song more. Believe it or not, “Believe it or not” hit #2 on the charts.

I couldn’t help but sing along as I rewatched the video. Crappy special effects and Connie Sellecca, what more could you ask for…not much…but I’ll give you more…George Constanza’s answering machine version of "Believe It Or Not".

I hope these videos break you out of the spell that you’re in and make all of your wishes come true…